Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
