She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
