I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
We got so high we made milksteak
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
