No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
