I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
