Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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