Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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