If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
