I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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