Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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