We named our party play list daddy issues
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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