I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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