Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
two words...techno handjob
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
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