Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
