it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
