i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
