Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
why do cheetos always look like penises
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize