That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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