im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize