you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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