and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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