Pappa wants mamma naked
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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