you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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