Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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