Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
