Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
