My Higher Power is John Stamos
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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