I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize