not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
