Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
