I only kidnapped one of them. chill
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
