he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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