If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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