You work out of a Hotel?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
