Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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