You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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