Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
