Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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