I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
