After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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