I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
