Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Randomize