he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
