that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
