we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
