Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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