the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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