he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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