the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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