so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
