He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
worst night to have a conscience
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
