i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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