I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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