I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize