There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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