Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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